Monday, July 14, 2008

Summer Warning

Yesterday morning, before our Sunday service began, our Pastor, made an astonishing announcement. Actually it was a warning which should be heeded by all midwesterners, especially those living in small towns. His warning was simple and straight forward, "please remember to lock your cars in the parking lot". Then he went on to remind us that this time of year there is a serious outbreak of vandalism. People, usually friends, neighbors and even relatives, engage in a practice so hideous that I hesitate to put it in writing. I try to keep my blogs "G" rated but this has to be an exception. Are the kids away from the monitor? Okay, here it is. ZUCCHINI! Every year about this time the killer vines spring to life and start bearing their fruit. And, the owners of these vines, who, once again, under estimated the production capacity of the few seeds that they scattered along the edge of their charming little gardens, find themselves up to their squash laden elbows with these shiny green tubes. Right around mid-harvest the gardeners' alter-egos kick in. That normally sweet, quiet little old lady down the street becomes a sneaky, conniving, bearer of tubular tidings. She, and her cohorts can be seen armed with bulging bags roaming the streets trying car doors, dropping bags on porches and even convincing little kids to take a bag home to their mommies. Coworkers drop off plain brown bags on your desk. Some send them to you in interoffice mail and FDS is considering starting a service where zucchini is incorporated into floral bouquets. There is probably no single fruit or vegetable (actually it qualifies as a fruit but is used as a vegetable?) with so many uses, most of which are edible. If you were to type "Zucchini" into Goggle you would find over five hundred twenty-two billion recipes for it. And that's not counting the ones for leftovers. So, consider yourself warned. And remember that right behind zucchini season is the string bean and the dreaded tomato invasion.