My Fellow Americans

Last night I recorded the Letterman Show because I thought the Betty White segment might be funny. After watching her present her "Top Ten Ways to a Long Life", I was ready to switch channels when Admiral Michael Mullen came on. I thought this was going to be a real yawner and it was until, Dave asked him about his early life. Well this guy was a number one Goof Off. His time at Annapolis and early naval career made my wasted youth look like time spent in a mountaintop abbey somewhere in the Himalayas. This guy bumbled his way through The Naval Academy graduating in the BOTTOM third of his class and went on to become The Chairman of The Joint Chiefs of Staff. Now, three of the guys that helped me Goof Off my way through high school went on to fair heights in the military, one a Colonel in the Army (ours) another, I think, a Commander in the Navy (again ours) and the other has never admitted to me how high he went while serving in the armed forces. Although I have almost (not any) military experience, I do have extensive Goofing Off experience. Does this qualify me for a high level government post? I think so! In today's world it seems like indiscretion and poor judgement are essential to holding high level political positions. Here again, I'm sure that, if that is what it takes, I can be as indiscreet as the next guy and, poor judgement, did you ever see some of those outfits I wore in the Sixties? With some major elections coming up soon, watch for campaign flyers and commercials pushing for my election. In the mean time I'll be working on as many indiscretions that time will allow by studying up up on Tom Jefferson, Tricky Dick Nixon, Billy Clinton, that Edwards guy and "Home Photography for Fun and Profit" by Senator Tony D'Weiner. I will appreciate your votes and promise to live up to the standards set those who (or whom) served before me!
(for a humorous peek at Admiral Mullens, check out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YLsETCKd7Y&feature=related)